Kingdom WHAT! Version 1 point 333
by Van 'n' Kim
Summary: Look behind the scenes of Kingdom Hearts! Outtakes that no one would imagine these characters to be in Converted by Su Discontinued.


SU'S DISCLAIMER:

I do not own Kingdom of Hearts, any items, songs, etc. that belongs to Kingdom of Hearts, or the story idea. The idea belongs to Van AND Kim, two authoresses who share this account with me ('cause their parents are cheap and refuse to grant them their own personal computers) I just ADDED some stuff on to it.

I also do not own I Love Lucy, Barbie, and Barbie Fans (shudders). But I DO own the director, the intern, the old, perverted geezer, and (drum roll) _"neW And improved SlUg chiPs: where tHe slimiest of bugs are used tO Make thIs excEllent product!"_ (Or _SlUg chiPs_ for short.) Thank You for reading this DISCLAIMER and have a nice day!

Su: ALRIGHT! Now time for me to step in! (grins widely) Now I took those two's (points thumb at Van and Kim behind her) story here, _Kingdom WHAT!_, and, sort of, re-did it to my own liking.

Van: You did what?

Su: Well, I thought that it wasn't, uh, long enough. All I did in this version was revise grammar and spelling and then, I EXPANDED it!

Kim: (looks over the fic) No, you didn't! It's complete dif- (Su's hand clamps over Kim's mouth)

Van: (looks on expectantly)

Kim: (muffled) Hefumuvapheecompeetchafphory!

Su: Don't listen to her! (looks nervous)

Van: Let's go to the fic.

Su: (panicking) No, it's not done yet! Heh heh. You see- Ow! (Kim bit her... hard) What the (censor) was (censor) (censor)? That (censor) HURT! (censor)

Kim: Hmpf! (crosses her arms) That's what you get!

Van: ( O . o ) I'm going to read it now.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kingdom WHAT! (Version 1.333)

Based Off A Story By: Van & Kim

By: Su

Humor

PG

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

The (insert deep breath here) Super-Important-Bald-Director-Guy-Who-Wears-A-Horrible-Greasy-Black-Toupe-That's-Made-Out-Of-Dyed-Barbie-Doll-Hair: Quiet on the-

His eyes shift to a intern dude who was snacking on some surprisingly crunchy _"neW And improved SlUg chiPs: where tHe slimiest of bugs are used tO Make thIs excEllent product!"_ He snapped his mouth shut, dropped the bag of _SlUg chiPs_, and ran out of the set screaming "LUCY! I TOLD THAT YOU CAN'T BE IN THE SHOW!"

The... blah boo kep-ooshia-a ba Director.. shooo zoom sip blah... something about hair... Where was I? Oh yeah! He finished: SET!

(crickets chirping)

Barbie came out with that, um, thing, that you click together before each scene.

(Beep beep/Kim: Beep beep? Why is it Beep beep? Why not Ding-ding? Or Bing-bing? Or Ding-dong?

Su: (sweat drop and then pats her head) Don't think too much Kimmy, or your head will explode.

Kim: Nuh-uh.

Su: Uh-huh.

Kim: Nuh-Huh.

Su: Uh-Huh.

Kim Nuh-

Su: Oh, shut it and let me do this!

Kim: (pouts, but she'll never admit it though)

Van: -.-u )

Anyways...

(Beep beep!)

Scene ... scene, uh, WHAT IS THE SCENE!

A Pink Someone Out in the Crowd of Adoring Barbie Fans: When Riku is calling Sora into the darkness... (goes into Barbie-Dream-Mode and drooling, excessively)

Barbie: (backs away from a pooling of rather yellow drool) Uh, heh heh, thanks, brat- I mean, cute lil' girl.

(Beep beep!)

Scene: Riku calling Sora into the darkness, Take 1

Riku: (holds out his hand)

Sora: (slowly reaches... into his pocket) Nope. Sorry, Riku. I don't have any money. You can buy some _"neW And improved SlUg chiPs"_ next week.

Riku: (his eyes widened like saucers) No... _SlUg chiPs_...? (faints)

(Beep beep!)

Scene: After Story, Take 1

Kairi: (singing) When you walk away, you don't hear me say-

Wakka: (interrupts) Um, no hard feelings, Kairi, but... you're too young for me.

(Beep beep!)

Scene: After Story, Take 2

Kairi: (singing) Please, oh baby, don't' go, simple and clean is the way you make me feel toni-

Tidus: (coughs to interrupt) Um. You're too...old for me, Kairi.

(Beep beep!)

Scene: After Story, Take 118

Kairi: (singing... again) Hold me, like you made me feel this morning-

Old, Perverted Geezer: (with a toothless creepy, old guy-stalker kind a grin) Alright! (grabs her butt)

Kairi: (screams) AHH! Pervert! (slaps him...hard)

CRACK!

Old Geezer: (on the floor) Ah! My spinal cord!

(Beep beep!)

Scene: The First Time Riku Calls Sora, Take 11

Riku: (holds out hand)

Sora: (takes hand) Riku.

(Then they both start doing the _SlUg chiPs'_ secret membership handshake.)

Kairi: Guys!

Riku and Sora: What?

Kairi: You're showing our secret handshake to everyone!

(Beep beep!)

Scene: Selphie Romantic Rants, Take 69

Selphie: Ahh... It's SO romantic... I've got to try it sometimes.

Sora: HELL NO! Not with me, you're not! (jumps into the water and swims away)

Selphie: (stares for a while, then pulls out _SlUg chiPs_ and starts munching on them) Mmm...

(Beep beep!)

Scene: Kairi Racing, Take 37

Selphie: Gee, Kairi, can I sing? (walks up stage)

Kairi: (gives the microphone over) Sure.

Selphie: (begins...uh, singing and Kairi took Selphie's jump rope)

Sora: Where's Kairi? We've got to settle this!

Kairi: (runs up to Sora and Riku) Guys, I want to race!

Riku: Fine. But don't starting crying when I win.

Kairi: Just try me.

Tidus: Ready... Set... (something rings in the background; Tidus looks up) Oh! My _SlUg chiP_ muffins are ready:D

Riku and Kairi: (glares at Tidus) TIDUS!

Sora: (sweat drops)

Tidus: Alright, alight! Don't get your panties in a bunch (starts over) Ready... Set... GO!

Sora and Riku were almost at the finish line (Kim: That magically appeared out of nowhere? Su: Shh!) but Kairi took out the jump rope and tied both boys together! She crosses the finish line as the 'victor.'

Tidus: (sweat drop) Well, there isn't a rule against that.

Riku: (suddenly shouts) Sora! Don't move!

Sora: ( O . o ) O...kay.

Riku: (stuck his leg out) I'm second!

Sora, Tidus, and Kairi: (stares at him until...)

Riku: (sniffs the air) Is... something burning?

Tidus: (gasps) My _SlUg chiP_ muffins!

(Beep beep!)

Scene: Raft in Trouble, Take 19.22

(Heartless begin growing on Destiny Island.)

Sora: Oh, I get it. Riku sent you, didn't he? So, beating me in a race wasn't enough, huh? Wakka, you can get out off the costume now! (happily picks one basic Heartless up) Not very tall now, are we?

Wakka: (throws Heartless into a nearby wall) Not very bouncy, ya?

Sora: Eh... Wakka! (looks from Wakka to the struggling Heartless)

Riku: Wakka! (does the same)

Sora: Riku?

Riku: Sora?

(Heartless then expanded and kept on growing and growing until...)

Sora and Riku: (looks up at the gigantic Heartless, took a deep breath and...) AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (both takes a deep breath and...) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Heartless: (looks/leans down to them) Boo.

Sora and Riku: (eyes roll back to their heads and faint)

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kingdom WHAT! (Version 1.333)

Based Off A Story By: Van & Kim

By: Su

Humor

PG

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

Kim: Ahh! It's NOTHING like our story.

Su: You think it's bad?

Kim: (shrugs) I said, "It's NOTHING like our story."

Su: (thinks) O-HH... That's a good thing... right?

Kim: ...

Su: Uh, where's Van?

Kim: ...

Su: (rolls her eyes) Geez, you at least say "I don't know," Kim. It won't kill you.

Kim: I don't know (lightning struck, but missing her by inches) AH! (on the ground)

Su: (stares at the lightning struck spot) O...kay, maybe it could.

Kim: (sarcastically) You think?

Su: I'm going to find Van, you talk to the viewers (leaves)

Kim: (sighs) Please review our "Su-ifed Story." Thank you.

In the distance, a faint calling of "VAAAAAAAN!" could be heard.

- - -

04/08/05

- - -


End file.
